Marriage is like a public toilet

Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out..

Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!

A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.
Dad asked: how did u feel?
He replied: Dad it was wonderful.
Everyone was clapping for me
Moral: Take everything positively

Make for me a place within your heart
On which I can depend. For only you
Touch the ancient wellsprings of my tears,
Home through all the wanderings of my years,
Eden that no other can renew,
Root I cannot rend through rage or art.

Sex poetry: It's not the length, it's not the size, it's not how many times u can make it rise. It's not how well it fits, but how late it spits

TEACHER: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
JOHNNY: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time.”

I always see spots before my eyes. DOCTOR: Didn´t the new glasses help? PATIENT: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer!

If kisses were rain, I would send u showers,
If fun was time, i’d send u hours,
If u needed a friend, i’d send u me!
*Happy Birthday To You Sweetheart*

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

In My Life..
I learned how 2 smile.
How 2 Laugh.
How 2 HardWork.
How 2 Love.
How 2 cry..
but i neva learned how 2 stop MISSING YOU…
MISSIN U SO MUCH Dear

GRATEFUL

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

In ‘The Universal Bank of God’…
God stores his blessings & deposited 365 days full of love,faith & happiness for you…
So,Enjoy spending…
Happy New Year.

Mr.Bean got an Invitation for a Party,
They told him that he must put BROWN TIE only.
When he went to party he was shocked?
other were wearing pants & shirts also…

Happy Mother’s Day means more than flowers and gifts It means saying thank you It means I love you You are my mother, my friend Today is your day

With petals of Roses,Palm full of Holly water,
Light of Full Sun,Fragrance of Flower and Grass with dew.
I wish you a very special Good Morning….

Jab koi khayal dilse takarata hai dil na chahkar
bhi khamosh reh jata hai,
koi sab kuch kehkar pyar jatata hai toh koi kuch na
kehkar bhi pyar nibhata hai

Ur sky is as much as u’d want to reach,
ur life is as lonely as u’d like to make;
Ur joy is as much as u decide to feel,
ur nite is as long as you decide to wake.
No one sets the limit for u,
no one can etch the span of the sky,
all u need to do is rise,
spread ur wings & decide to fly.

There is no color in the rain
It’s only water, wet and plain.
It makes damp spots upon my book
And splashes on my new dress, look!
But puddles, in the rainy weather,
Glisten like a peacock’s feather.

How long shall we be friends? Do you want a clue? As long as stars twinkle in the sky, till the water runs dry and till the day I die. We will be friends. Happy Friendship Day !

IRA what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you run cause he's got a grenade in his mouth

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