There is hot sex, fast sex, group sex, safe sex, leather sex, telephone sex and for people wid a face like urs theres.............masturbation

Why you chose this particular time to get sick,
seems to us an insensitive choice.
So don’t be so selfish; don’t be a sloth;
get well soon so we all can rejoice!
We Miss You!

PATIENT: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests. DOCTOR: Never mind, you'll pass eventually. PATIENT: But I'm the examiner!

23 useless things in a man's body
20 nails cannot be hammered
2 balls u cannot throw
1 cock cannot crow
Don't laugh gals ur pussy cannot catch mouse

All d achievements in this world r made by People who had d courage to not to listen to d crowd..
But..
Do wat they felt was right??
Think!!
Gud morning!!

¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
░H░A░P░P░Y░
(¯”•.¸*♥♥♥* ¸.•”¯)
░B░I░R░T░H░D░A░Y░ ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♫♪
Happy Special Bithday To You!!!

Who invented milking cows and what did he think when he started doing it ?

A sad love story:
.
2 lovers who decided 2 end their relationship.
After many years wen d boy got married,
His ex girl friend approached him n said:
"How dare u use my favorite color as d theme of ur wedding ..!
How dare u use my favorite flowers as ur decoration!
How dare u set d date i proposed u as ur wedding day
'N
How dare u use our song for the ceremony ??
.
The boy cried
'N said
"because this is d only way
I could pretend to my heart that i'm getting married to u.

“God sent in my life a beautiful Angel in your guise, Sister. In good times or bad ones, you're ready to extend your help and support. Thanks for all you do.”

Kissing you baby is my dream.
I am strawberry & you are the cream.
Handle me gently keep me real keen.
U & i together babes is passion so extreme!

Bye is a little word that causes so much pain.
The person you hold now might never meet you again.
So never say “Bye”
always say “Meet you Again”
Or “see you soon”
Send it to those whom you never want to say ‘BYE’ in your life.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Grandma. Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Grandma. Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Grandma. Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Aunt.
Aunt who?
Aunt you glad Grandma's gone?

Painful wrds by a lover: "I was waiting 4 my name 2 b writen inside d mariage invitation wit his name. Bt 2day, my name s writen on d cover of it .....!"

If Sky Is My Paper And
The Stars Are My Words And
If Ocean Is My Ink
Still It Is Not Enough For Me To Write
How Much “I Like U”

SomeOne..
MiSSES U..
NeeDS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
... THE ZOO ...

I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.

Computers must be male. As soon as you commit to one you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the day.

You may find someone better than me,
important than me,
dearer than me,
but not the one
who miss you more that me..

PERFECTLY TRUE Half of sorrows v earn by expecting good things from wrong people.
& Other half of sorows we earn by finding wrong things in good people.

Let S Share The W0rld
A Sea Is F0r U
Nd Waves Are F0r Me
The Sky Is F0r U
Nd Stars Are F0r Me
The Sun Is F0r U
Nd Light Is F0r Me
Everything Is F0r U
Nd U Are F0r Me.

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