Doctor SMS

Sms - Doctor SMS

Lady to DOC: My son is wetting his bed. DOC: Don't worry, its a minor problem. LADY: I know but his wife doesn't think so!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PSYCHIATRIST: You've been here for an hr. And there's one thing I definitely want you to do before our next session. Give up smoking. PATIENT: Will that help me? DOC: No, me. You've already burnt 2 holes in my couch!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

Nothing assures the payment of an old dental bill like a new toothache!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PATIENT: Tell me straight doc, how long have I got? DOC: Its difficult to say, but if I were you, I wouldn't start reading any serials!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

DOC: how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed 10 quarters? NURSE: No change yet!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

DOC: Did you ake the patient's temperature? NURSE: No. Is it missing?

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PATIENT: Please tell me, am I getting better? DOC: I think so. But to be sure, let me feel your wallet.

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PSYCHIATRIST: Now tell me, do you normally stir coffee with ur right hand? PATIENT: Oh yes. DOC: That's odd. Most people use a spoon!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PATIENT: Good morning, doc! I dropped in to tell you how much I benefitted from ur treatment. DOC: But you are not one of my patients. PATIENT: I know, but my uncle was and I am his heir!
83;-) PATIENT: Couldn't you split my persomality? DOC: Why would you want a thing like that? PATIENT: Oh Doc, I am feeling so lonely!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

Why do surgeons wear masks? So that they are not recognized later!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

A man ran into the emergency room and said to the first doc he saw: Quick! Do you know the cure for the worst case of hiccups in history? Without saying a word, the doc drove a knee into the man's groin forcing him to draw down a massive gulp of air. DOCTOR: There, bet you don't have hiccups any more. The man
wheezed through his teeth: No, but my wife in the car does!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PSYCHIATRIST to his receptionist: Ah....there goes the only woman I've ever loved. RECEPTIONIST: So, why don't you marry her? PSYCHIATRIST: Can't afford to. She's my best patient!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PATIENT: You've got to help me doctor. I have this fondness for doing bird imitations. DOCTOR: That doesn't seem bad to me. PATIENT: Oh sure! That's because you don't have to swallow the worms!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

DOCTOR: I can't do anything for your problem. It's hereditary. PATIENT: In that case, send the bill to my grandfather!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

DOCTOR to patient: In your case, treatment is not expensive; but for the diagnosis, you might have to seek a bank loan!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PATIENT: I'm worried about this eye operation. DOCTOR: Don't worry, you won't be able to see the difference!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

MAN: My wife is in a real sorry state. She usually stays awake till 2 or 3 in the morning. What can I do for her? DOCTOR: Come home earlier!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PATIENT to dentist: OK doc, what do I need to get done? DENTIST: Well, your teeth are alright, but your gums will have to come out!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

DOCTOR: How is your husband's lumbago? WIFE: Not too good. I rubbed his back with whisky like you told me to and he broke his neck trying to lick it off!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

Young man to doctor: There is nothing wrong with me. I just dropped by to tell you how much benefit I got from your treatments. DOCTOR: I've never seen you before. You are no patient of mine. MAN: I'm not, but my uncle was!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PSYCHIATRIST: What's wrong with your brother? SISTER: He thinks he's a chicken. PSYCHIATRIST: How long has he been acting like a chicken? SISTER: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

The worst thing a doctor could say to hos patient: Your condition is so rare, we're not sure we're pronouncing it right!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PATIENT: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests. DOCTOR: Never mind, you'll pass eventually. PATIENT: But I'm the examiner!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

A 6ther complained to the doc about her daughter's strange eating habits: All day long she lies in the bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her? DOC: Eventually she will rise and shine!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

DOC to PATIENT: Say aah, now put out your tongue. As patient sat with mouth agape, doc wrote 2 prescriptions. DOC: Ah yes, that's fine, you may shut your mouth and he gave him the prescriptions and showed him out. NURSE: You dhdn't even look at his mouth, let alone examine his tongue or tonsils. DOC: Its nice to have a little peace and quiet when I'm writing out prescriptions!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PSYCHIATRIST to Patient: You have nothing to worry about. Anyone who can pay my bills is certainly not a failure!
65:-l DOC: What is the matter with you? PATIENT: Typhoid fever. DOC: That illness either kills you or leaves you an idiot. I know because I've had it!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

PATIENT: Everytime I get into the bed, I think there is someone under it. You've got to help me. PSYCHIATRIST: Come to me thrice a week for two years & I'll cure your fears.I'll charge you only $100 a visit. PATIENT: I'll think over it. Six months later doc met the patient. PSYCHIATRIST: Why you never came to see me? PATIENT: For $100 a visit? A carpenter cured me for $10.PSYCHIATRIST: Is that so? How? PATIENT: He told me to cut the legs off the bed!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz

Nurse to patient: Why did you run away from the operation? PATIENT: Because the OT sister said before the operation "What are you afraid of? It's only a routine appendix operation" NURSE: So what? PATIENT: She said it to the surgeon, not me!

Post: Doctor SMS By M Shahabz Aziz
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