Funny SMS

READ THIS SCARY STORY IF YOU DARE.
On a rainy day,
an old man was standing with a book for sale.
A young man came to buy.
He bought the book for Rs.3000.
Old man advised
"DONT OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK otherwise You'll face problem"
Man finished the book with great fear but didn't open the last page.
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But,after a week,
Out of curiousity he opend the last page and..

he almost fainted to see..
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Retail Price: Rs 30/-

I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Grandma. Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Grandma. Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Grandma. Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Aunt.
Aunt who?
Aunt you glad Grandma's gone?

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv.. another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.

Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

How Dogs and Women are alike.....
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.

Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

My Reality Check bounced.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.