Rude SMS

Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof,
roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof,
poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.

Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barkin

From Moon to Sun, From Jan To Dec,
From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u
have never changed.

For me, you’ve always been…
a headache !

There is hot sex, fast sex, group sex, safe sex, leather sex, telephone sex and for people wid a face like urs theres.............masturbation

Sorry! Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!

Nature is a miracle. One million years ago no one knew people would wear glasses but our ears are at the right spot

If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything,
I'll come, hold ur hand,
take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.

When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness!

“CONGRATS” U have been awarded an M.B.A degree

For not Smsing me.

MBA means ‘Member of Bhikari Association’

Kindly forward it 2 all M.B.A’s.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl’s empty,
And so is your head.

A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!

Can we do romance in the evening today?
I’m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly

“MOSQUITO”

Today is the birthday of Donald Duck..
Wish him happy birthday and send this
sms to every cartoon as i did…

Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over but when u pull a panty the show begins..

A child uses its thumb 2 chew,
an illiterate uses his thumb 2 sign,
a winner uses his thumb 2 show victory,
but a monkey is using his thumb 2 read this sms

Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.

Old people used to annoy me at weddings by pinching my cheeks &
saying that you are the next.
They stopped doing that when I started doing the same to them at funerals!!

Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.

“LOVE” .What a heavenly thing, what a heavenly word….

but do u know what is LOVE?

L= Loss
O= Of
V= Valuable
E= Energy….

So don’t LOVE..

You don't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again you don't know the meaning of most words.

Make love to ur girlfriend on Valentine day.
She’ll give u good news on Mothers day &
U’ll have a child on children`s day.
Don’t try this on everybody.
Coz U’ll have bad news on Dec 1

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

If ever I was rude to u,
If ever I was angry with u,
If ever I misbehaved with u,
then don’t hesitate,

JUST SLAP yourself

I bet when u go 2 de zoo u have 2 buy 2 tickets
1 to get in & another to get out

If I were to
make a dictionary
CUTE=you
SWEET=you
THOUGHTFUL=you
GOOD LOOKING=you
GORGEOUS=you
LIAR=me!

How Dogs and Women are alike?

Neither believe that silence is golden,
Neither can balance a checkbook &
Both put too much value on kissing.

Your network tariff has changed! Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper! Congrats You can make free calls!

Are you free tonight, or will it cost me? I'm new in town, can you give me directions to your flat?

Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message