Santa Banta SMS

Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part? Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I’m coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.

Santa is so rich he has two swimming pools,
one of which is always empty?
It”s for people who can”t swim!

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

santa had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the
table. The guest asked what is this? santa didn”t know English,
he said “Milk sleeping in night,morning becomes tight”

Banta ask santa: what will you
advise your children about marriage?


Santa declares: I’ll never marry in my life and
I’ll give same advice to my children also.

Banta: tell me five FERROUCIOUS animals that you can think of……
Santa: 3 lions and 2 tigers.

Banta:When did George Washington die? Santa: 2 days b4 his funeral

Santa: WHat is another difference between a mosquito and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannt mosquito.

Banta: What”s the difference between an oral thermometer and a
rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.

Lil Banta: I dreamed last night dat u gave me Rs 500 for Christmas.
Banta Singh: Well, as you”ve been a good boy lately, you may keep it.

Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked
a question -
Interviewer – Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar – Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

Q: How did Santa cheat the railways?
A: He bought the ticket and didn”t travel.

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.

A friend to Sardar:
Last year the Name-Plate
outside your house
I read Santa Singh B.A
This year I read Santa Singh M.A
When did you finish yours Master Degree..?
Sardar: You don’t understand.
Last year my wife died.
I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again.
Then I took a second wife,
so
M.A is married again

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Wht is the limit of foolishness?
Santa singh n banta singh fighting for a window seat on a two wheeler scooter.

Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."

Titanic was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

Santa giving exam while standing at the door.
A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?"
Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test."

santa : “I saw my Wife going 2 a movie with a strange Man.”
Friend : “Did u follow them inside?”
“No yaar,” replied santa “I had already SEEN the Movie !”

How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling,
om our Engagement will you give me a RING?
Santa:Ya sure, Give me your Telephone No

Jeeto: If I die what ‘ll you do?
Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man

Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.

Santa (reading from book of facts):
“Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?”
Banta: “Why don’t you use a mouth wash?”

santa bunks office comes home & finds his wife in bed with his
boss. Rushes back to office & tells his colleagues almost got caught bunking?

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: ‘Free Delivery’

Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"